Reflecting on God's Calling for My Life

I'm one of those people that reflect on things a lot, maybe even more than I should do at times. Recently, I've really been just thinking about God's calling on my life as a pastor. Thinking and reflecting on that really makes me realize just how much of a privilege/responsibility it is to have that calling. It's a privilege because God is allowing me to help others come to know Him better and to see them grow and share in that joy with them. It's a responsibility because I am gravely held accountable for the things I do and say. There are many Scriptures that absolutely terrify me. Here are just a few:

Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood - Acts 20:28

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. - James 3:1

I tell you, on the day of judgement people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. - Matt. 12:36-37

It's passages like that that make wonder "Oh God, what have You gotten me into!?" But at the same time I'm thankful. I'm thankful for a couple of reasons that God has given me this calling. One of them is that it really helps me feel my inadequacy of this calling and makes me rest entirely in God to do what He needs to do through me. I'm not going to lie, I really struggle with pride. I see many problems in American Christianity and, by the grace of God, I've escaped a good many of them, but, it puffs me up sometimes, and that isn't good. It can also give me a feeling of superiority over other Christians. But when I think about my calling and the implications of it and how every single thing I do or say will be judged harsher than normal Christians, I am humbled and tremble.

Another reason I'm thankful is because my calling really puts pressure on me (the good, encouraging kind) to really seek after God and get in the Scriptures. I hate to admit it, but I have a strong feeling that if I wasn't called to Pastoral ministry, I would be so lax in my spiritual life, especially when it comes to growth in holiness. Reflecting on the pastoral-ship and on the holiness of past preachers like Lloyd-Jones, Spurgeon, Whitefield, Wesley, Edwards, Pink, Owen, Ravenhill, Tozer and so many others, it really makes me realize that the Scripture is true when it says,

Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. - Heb. 12:14

I'm really thankful that God has been showing me that what many consider to be holiness today in the Church (at least in the American Church) is extremely superficial and isn't holiness at all. Just as a clarifier, I'm not speaking of the holiness that comes with redemption. When we are regenerated and born again and are saved through faith in Christ, Christ's righteousness and holiness are imputed (transferred) to us. So then, when God looks at us, He sees Christ's righteousness and holiness, and not our filthy rags and failures. That holiness is very much real and I don't want to diminish it, but that is not the holiness of which I am speaking. The word holiness, I believe, is better translated sanctification in the above verse, which the New American Standard Bible does. So, in reality, that verse is saying that without sanctification, or growing in practical holiness, no one will see the Lord. I could write an entire blog on that issue itself. What it really all comes down to is whether or not you're crucified to the world or not (Gal. 6:14). Whether you love the world or not (I John 2:15). Whether you're a friend of the world or not (Jas. 4:4). Holiness is not an easy thing. And at times it isn't fun either. Many professing Christians (even born again ones!) will criticize you and judge you for separating yourself from the world. They'll call you legalistic and Puritanic (Which I take as a compliment. I love the Puritans!). When it comes to holiness, Christ's and Paul's words ring true:

Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. - Matt. 5:11-12

Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! - Luke 6:22

Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.." - II Tim. 3:12

The Lord has truly blessed me in these endeavors and persecutions, and I thank Him so graciously.  Because of my call to the ministry, I feel a deep sense of needing to be holy, whether people in my culture like it or not. If the Lord hadn't called me to the ministry, I probably wouldn't care so much about holiness and separateness from the world so much, if even at all. Thus, proving once again that "for those who love God all things work together for good..." (Rom. 8:28). I praise Him with all of my being and soul. I pray you do the same.